November 17, 2009 by Erica
I learned about you during my high school years and often tried to find you. Every attempt was a wall and every hope was a let down. I have seen you in my dreams. You have consistently invaded my thoughts. I desired a relationship with you but I wasn’t sure if you would feel the same way. Where have you been and who did you become? Do you have his eyes? Ears? Temper? Height? Was it better this way?
Before my Dad’s relationship with my Mother, he was married and had three children. There is more to the story than I know but he ultimately left and never turned back. I often wondered how someone could leave their children? When Dad would up and leave during my high school years I would assume he wasn’t going to come back, only because history tends to repeat itself. He wasn’t what I would call stability or a hero of any kind, but he was my Father. He is my Dad. Our relationship now is better than it has ever been and I would not trade that for anything.
My Mom spent endless hours trying to help me locate my three brothers. But with no real solid information of their location, it was close to impossible. I longed to know them and be a part of their lives and I wondered if they would want anything to do with me. Though I am not responsible for the actions of my Father, it is still such a delicate and vulnerable situation.
Last night the wife of one of my brothers contacted me via Facebook (you have to love social networks!). There is so much more to the story but ultimately my Grandfather told them about my Dad having three other children. He told the boys our names and mentioned I was in South Carolina. I was at work when a message was sent to my phone from Facebook that asked if I had a sister named Jessica and a twin brother Eric. I just responded that I did and went on with work. It wasn’t until midnight last night that I actually got to talk to Elizabeth, the wife of Cory (the middle son), and learn more about my brothers and the lives I’ve missed out on.
This is all new and developing and I have yet to talk to any of the guys yet, but I am really hoping to have some sort of relationship with them. I have wanted this for so long. This writing doesn’t do the entire story nearly any justice. There is so much more to be said and so much that has yet to happen. But I am thrilled about the opportunity to get to know the big brothers I never had.
For some time they were just silhouettes in my mind and now I can put a picture to the shadows. They do look like him.
